seedy stories.

Who:

An ex-erotic entertainer, Brunhilda und Kriemhilda, Chuck Norris, Dmitri Shostakovich, Hagar the Horrible, Jehova, Kamikaze Cocktail Waitress, Kojak, Lando Calrissian, Little Bunny Fufu, Luther Vandross, Mr. Peanut, Pizzaface, R Kelly Cult Members, REO Speedwagon, Teenage Suicide Bomber, Tesla, The 69th Dalai Lama, The Death Cheater, The Fugitive Kind, The Last Albino Contortionist, The Marlboro Man, The poet laureate of New Jersey


what:

Adult Onset Chicken Pox, bad juju, Cinnamon Toast, competetive karaoke , dismemberment, dry humping, erotomania, face blindness, horticulture, hot yoga, lady fingers, manwich greed, peanut butter methadone, Pony Rides $.25, pooper scooper, reverse vasectomy, snake eyes, Snoopy phobia, stomach stapling, tax fraud, tiramisu, Toltec revival, Yakuza bachelor party


when:

11th inning, 1973 Iditarod, after a friendly fire funeral, apocalypse, between a rock and a hard place, Bingo Night, black thursday, boiling point, checkmate, day of the locust, half past a freckle, Howard Johnson Happy Hour, La Quinceanera, Marti Gras, menopause, Miller time, Nixon administration, prom, sasquatch, the Golden Years, the resurrection, Valentine's Day, visiting hours


where:

African Missionary Pot Luck, cerebral cortex, coral reef, Dairy Queen Drive Thru, gorgonzola trade show, Lover's Lane, Meat Freezer, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, Peanut Gallery, Plaid Pantry Purgatory, Porn Museum, Silver Falls, Sing Sing Correctional Facility, spacetime continuum, spanish harlem, the gazebo, The Slums of Puget Sound, Times Square Peep Show, Union Jack's, Vegas RV park, Verrazano Bridge, WKRP in Cincinnati

why:

carpal tunnel of the mind, casino crimes, coffee enema, community service sentence, compromised diary entry, corn candy klepto, ethnic cleansing, food stamp forgery, hemroids, needlepoint injury, neoteny, out of order tampax machine, pedophile family reunion, penis pump, postpartum depression, premature baldness, Psychic Friends Network Crash, scabies, stolen rolex start up, T-mobile takeover, virgin sacrifice, whiteout, Yaba Task Force


how
advanced alien surveillance technology, by the skin of my balls, baby, by tying two dirty sheets together with licorice, cold turkey, cool whip, don't ask don't tell, embroidered, hot air balloons for dummies, in a pinch, mescaline, piecemeal, propelled by the wheel of karma, resisting arrest, suffocation with a Bambi pillow, The Monty Hall Paradox, tic tac toe, to Neil Diamond's greatest hits, unlubricated, with a coat hanger, with a turkey baster, with mommy's permission, with two sticks of Land O' Lakes, you put the cigarettte to the silk

our lady of delay

it's alright to hesitate
we're not getting older
we're like stars that started late
and we know,
we know that we're late
but we're still coming over

there's got to be a way
to make sense of what they've done
their hands are bathed in blood
from the daily castration
of those fucking haircuts

when you kissed me in the film
i thought all the miracles
were found in the lost mail
with Our Lady of Delay
on a strange medallion

dreamcatcher

 1.
for what i have contributed
geographics, lies,
all the solitary times
im sorry.
this large pool of
broken severed ties, fractured
dislodged connections...uprooted
and can't get the good soil
or enough regular sun
type life


u know what it's like to be numb all the time.... then these strange
uncontrollable free agents
with their great n'greasy casual love
in an otherwise barren wasteland
carelessly feeding
tossing an essential fatty rib
to what you tried to starve or kill

whoever put u in a corner, fuck.
please believe,
they had no right.





2.

in those days
this breaks my heart
the crisp cold air
central park numbness wearing off
both sweet and noxious smells
wafting through the dreamcatcher of a lonely kid
no windbreaker against despair

refusing to wear my jacket or my shoes or hat
in the snow again, with no shoes or jacket or hat
sick as a dog again getting the backhanded slap
of the wind and the sleet

a fever would buy some time alone
this care-proof scam

ufo's over the picasso statue
the creaking radiator and the drapes snoring
shadows on the black and white tv
hanger antenna

hiding in the closet
mothballs and roach spray

in the no-one ness of the night

a ritual to steady myself
go to the mirror
into my own eyes
Big blue earths descending
blue neptunes with triton blinks
to a twin soul a double self
an auxiliary person stashed
in the safety of the glass
retrievable, intact, unaware

best DJ name

DJ self-administered beatdown.

dog

grey white mutton chop
muppet monster tongue bath
trying to scrub my hair
while i sit in the tub
crunch and munch
get your snow pants on
where is your ball
my friend my son
who I pray will never understand
the cruelty of human hands