dreamcatcher

 1.
for what i have contributed
geographics, lies,
all the solitary times
im sorry.
this large pool of
broken severed ties, fractured
dislodged connections...uprooted
and can't get the good soil
or enough regular sun
type life


u know what it's like to be numb all the time.... then these strange
uncontrollable free agents
with their great n'greasy casual love
in an otherwise barren wasteland
carelessly feeding
tossing an essential fatty rib
to what you tried to starve or kill

whoever put u in a corner, fuck.
please believe,
they had no right.





2.

in those days
this breaks my heart
the crisp cold air
central park numbness wearing off
both sweet and noxious smells
wafting through the dreamcatcher of a lonely kid
no windbreaker against despair

refusing to wear my jacket or my shoes or hat
in the snow again, with no shoes or jacket or hat
sick as a dog again getting the backhanded slap
of the wind and the sleet

a fever would buy some time alone
this care-proof scam

ufo's over the picasso statue
the creaking radiator and the drapes snoring
shadows on the black and white tv
hanger antenna

hiding in the closet
mothballs and roach spray

in the no-one ness of the night

a ritual to steady myself
go to the mirror
into my own eyes
Big blue earths descending
blue neptunes with triton blinks
to a twin soul a double self
an auxiliary person stashed
in the safety of the glass
retrievable, intact, unaware